Number of the Month

May 2010

UK Election Results

Party

Seats

Green (Liberal branch)

57

Green (Labour branch)

258

Green (Dave’s branch)

306

Celtic fringe etc

28

Green (Main branch)

1

UKIP

0

 

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Vertigo

The leading Green Jobs Agency

1010 Apprentice Flint Knappers. You will be taught how to make stone axes and other exciting new tools for the coming low-carbon era.

1011 Road-hole diggers (unskilled)

1012 Deputy Assistant Gay and Lesbian Cycling Coordinator. The charming Cotswold village of Teetering on the Verge seeks to fill this important position within its administration. Attractive amenities include a six figure salary, final salary pension, car and fuel allowance and generous holidays. The prime duty will be to chair the Crossbar Policy Sub-committee.

1013 Road-hole fillers (semi-skilled). Experience of creating bumps and ramps essential.

1014 Campaign Organiser. A senior post in a new Government-funded but independent organisation to lead the new and exciting campaign “Learn to love your windmills”. Requires experience in counter propaganda against destructive interests that are highly organised and heavily funded by antagonistic industrial enemies.

1015 Third Assistant Deputy Road-hole controller. Requires computer skills and involves coordinating the location of holes in a random and unexpected manner to provide traffic calming and consequent carbon emission reduction: also to liaise with utility providers to avoid clashes. You will take a leading part in a major thrust to provide new unemployment reduction opportunities.

1016 Recycling Obedience Surveillance Officers. Suitable for retired officers of the intelligence services, these posts require experience of covert operations. The objective is to seek out and prosecute those committing serious environmental crimes, such as putting out bins at the wrong time, incorrect sorting and failing to leave lids properly closed. The enemy will often pose as being old and frail, harassed mothers or the disabled etc, so ruthless detachment is a necessity.

1017 Correspondence Operatives. Duties involve searching through the media, blogs etc to seek out expressions of incorrect thinking on all environmental matters and submit corrective correspondence under various pseudonyms. A moderate but not excessive knowledge of written English is desirable.

 

Remember that all green jobs are fully funded by the taxpayer and that green parties have overwhelming control of the Government, so green jobs are the most secure and well rewarded available.

Just write to Vertigo at the Metropolitan University of Nether Wallop Industrial Park, quoting the appropriate job number, and you will be forwarded the appropriate psychological profiling pack and then possibly called to interview and processing.

 

11/05/10

Power games

Polonius. To England send him, or confine him where
Your wisdom best shall think.

King. It shall be so.
Madness in great ones must not unwatch’d go.

Exeunt.

Once again Christopher Booker is a lone voice in pointing out the most egregious and dangerous appointment in the cobbling together of the UK Con-Lib coalition. This is the appointment of Chris Huhne to be Minister for Energy and Climate change. We have seen before how cavalier Huhne is with data misrepresentation. If he is allowed to carry on with his pro-wind and anti-nuclear campaign from a position of Governmental authority, power cuts are inevitable and will be dire. People are going to die.

16/05/10

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Proverb update

One man's green job is two other men's gone jobs.

20/05/10

Justice

At last justice has been seen to be done in the case of Andrew Wakefield, who provided our first Number of the Month this year. For those who need it here is a comic book version of the saga. We have covered the case on several occasions, beginning in February 2002.

A side issue is the fact that in covering such matters we exposed ourselves to potential bankruptcy in the UK courts, owing to Britain ’s extraordinary libel laws, which have been invented on the hoof by the likes of Mr Justice Eady ( Numby Laureate in 2006). Still, given the state of the nation, the creation of a lucrative minor industry such as libel tourism is probably considered a positive contribution.

Meanwhile, all commentators, even those outside the UK if their remarks are published here, face the possibility of massive costs and time-wasting, innocent or not. Crooks can use their ill-gotten gains to oppress anyone who dares to expose them.

Funny old world.

27/05/10

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Anyone for suicide?

The EU commission has now proposed an increased target of emission cuts to 30%

Yes, us!

Chris Huhne has backed the Commission’s proposals for economic suicide. The way to bring down a modern state is to cut off its energy supply, which is the objective of the enemy within. It is the ultimate irony of coalition politics that the most vital ministerial portfolio, that of Energy, should go to one who, as we have seen, is a ruthless promoter of imaginary problems as a means to achieve economic oblivion. Talk about putting the fox in charge of the hen-house!

The new Prime Minister is beginning to give the impression that the concessions to his coalition partners were far from being painfully wrung out of him, but were a welcome release from the influence of the more conservative elements in his own section of the Green Party.

But not us!

Say France and Germany.

Number of the month – 30

This, in honour of Chris Huhne, is the proposed target for percentage of emissions reduction (note that we no longer need to include reference to the wholly benign rare gas by name).

Those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad.

31/05/10

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Index

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